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The SADA CEO, Mr Charles Abugri, has announced that the guinea fowls that spread their wings in Ghana and flew away to Burkina Faso are on their way back home, thanks to an in-built rLG navigation app developed by Ronald Agambire, who also happens to be the owner of Asongtaba Cottage Industries, into which GH¢15 million was sunk for the SADA Guinea Fowl Project.

‘We allowed them to go on a long tourist vacation in Burkina Faso,’ said Mr Abugri, ‘and we were able to monitor their activities using the rLG navigation app, which also functions as a tracking device.’

The SADA CEO said that the birds would be put on display, and Ghanaians would be allowed to view, interact with them, and talk to them about their experience in Burkina Faso, but before then, SADA officials will first have to debrief them on their Burkina trip.

But information from other sources suggests that SADA may not be telling Ghanaians the whole truth: ‘We have heard that the Akonfems have only returned home because they don’t want to be left out of the euphoria surrounding the latest Anas expose. They also want to come and see what the judges did fiili-fiili!’ a spokesman for Ghana Integrity Initiative is quoted as saying.

The Ghana Peace Council, the state organisation that spares no opportunity to sow the seeds of panic and fear in Ghana and to jump to the defence of errant public officers in the name of preserving peace, has offered its own theory about why the guinea fowls have returned: ‘They are fleeing the political instability in Burkina Faso. Even Akonfems know that peace is important. So we’re begging Ghanaians to allow Election 2016 to be peaceful. Even if the election is rigged, fa ma Nyame!’

A member of NPP-affiliated Alliance for Accountable Governance (AFAG) has gone as far as to suggest that the guinea fowls are only here to expose the corruption that went into the Guinea Fowl Project, because even though they are ‘chickens,’ they have been emboldened by the festive anti-corruption mood into which the latest Anas video has plunged the whole country.

‘We believe that Anas has even implanted secret video recorders on the Akonfems. So scandal-hungry Ghanaians should prepare for another explosive video expose to be premiered at the National Theatre!’

But CEO Abugri has debunked all these claims, insisting that the guinea fowls only went to Burkina Faso on a tourist visit.

‘But now they’re back. And we hope they find enough reason to stay this time around,’ a hopeful Mr Abugri told reporters. ‘Thanks to the good works of President Mahama, there are enough tourist attractions in the country now, like the partially-completed interchange at the Kwame Nkrumah Circle.’

Editor’s note: The ‘Inside the News by Mpakoo’ column which appears every Monday exclusively on ghanabusinessnews is satire.

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